Dear Dennis,
Sincere apologies – it appears my ‘tome of the other day’ could have been rejected by some yahoo type emailer service … never mind, I have reproduced it here as I wouldn’t wish you to miss anything I have to say :..
The brunette has informed me it is no longer ‘cool’ to tuck my t’shirt inside my trousers – when was this decision made? I didn’t notice any article in the ‘Shed Times’ regarding this matter.
………………..
The involvement of Sappho is probably as good a guess as any and indeed to my prejudiced 1950’s & 60’s upbringing, seems to have elicited a string of brightly clothed visitors to next door with various and strangely coiffeured hair pieces and some with dogs pulled along on bits of rope. I saw the girls gaily chatting in their garden the other day and the one who was hammering nails into their shed roof (I shall call this one Bob) never seems to do any washing up so that proves it. And whilst ‘Bob’ was erecting some netting affaire to retain the rabbits, I bravely lent ‘him’ my cordless – ‘he’ was very appreciative and applied the correct grip straight away, whereas ‘Joan’ could only offer “I’ve never had much luck with those things”. The cordless was returned promptly the next day although the battery was flat. I quickly returned it to the dusty corner (back, left) in the shed to recover its patina (I think it had been polished) and shed-like odour. I notice Gary (next door the other side) has taken to wearing a long peaked cap whenever he has to go down to his shed – presumably he doesn’t wish to be noticed staring. Personally I’ve cleared a space in our Charlies bedroom, next to the window and I’ve cut a hole in his curtain just the size to fit my new binoculars – I can only report at this time that the rabbits seem to be functioning ‘normally’.
More some other time my friend
D
26 April 2005
22 April 2005
22/4/2005
Uh, I made a mistake – the guy next door is a bird – I just presumed as this anorak clothed figure hammered nails into their shed roof. In fact two fair maidens live next door to us now and the shed is not for tools in appropriately painted shapes on peg-board walls but instead for rabbits – waste of a fairly good decent shed if you ask me but I expect they know what they’re doing. They’ve also erected a substantial cage type pen around the shed to house their collection of budgies – collective noun for budgerigars? [cage-full] perhaps or even a dyke of budgies? Any road up the kids are excited at the prospect of a petting and poking zoo next door and the cats have taken to spending the daytime splayed out on the pen roof. They get quite a collection some days, especially when it is warm and sunny. You’ve not commented on my money making scheme from my previous tome … I take your silence as tacit approval and you’re just waiting to see if I survive long enough to spend it? I wrote a letter to our local paper recently, complaining about our local MP – he replied and accused me of “fashionable sarcasm” well that’s the last time I vote the Raving Looney’s in.
How was your migraine? Worth much? Did you get yur mug on TV?
I had an email from my web hoster saying my site was the highest of the month at 800 something hits – thanks mate – keep it up. Have you and Carol tried my recipes yet?
When will you be down our way again?
How was your migraine? Worth much? Did you get yur mug on TV?
I had an email from my web hoster saying my site was the highest of the month at 800 something hits – thanks mate – keep it up. Have you and Carol tried my recipes yet?
When will you be down our way again?
18 April 2005
18/4/2005
Dear Dennis,
I have to report we have some ‘new people’ moved in next door.
The chap pulled up in a very utilitarian box – Luton type van (diesel) (electrical tail-lift) and deftly reversed into a very cosy space outside our house and just nudging the merc back a few inches – I looked at it for a while but then decided it was much better where he had left it than where I had on my return from the shops earlier. In any case I couldn’t be bothered to change my vest just to engage in a remonstration. Anyway, he and his significant other then spent a hectic afternoon moving chattels from the van to the house whilst our two childs looked on from the safety of the window sill and reporting anything interesting looking to me reclining on the sofa. Evening came and with the van apparently empty, their front door was shut – low and behold a few minutes later the chap was out the back erecting his shed – well I have to admire his stamina and assignment of priorities. He even got the felt roof on in the rain – I waved a couple of times from the upstairs bedroom and raised my mug of tea in respect but he didn’t seem to notice me in my deckchair which I’d arranged next to the window so I could see how he put the shed together – nails not screws – he’ll learn. His other came out after a while in an anorak and held a pot of clout nails presumably so he didn’t have to keep getting down off the roof when he dropped his handful. I called from the window once or twice with witticisms to keep him from flagging but as I say, I don’t think he noticed. Still, we’ve got plenty of time to get acquainted – I need to get him to replace his fence as it is a bit lopsided now after I nailed the cable to my shed to it and the boys keep kicking the panels – bless them.
Kind regards
I have to report we have some ‘new people’ moved in next door.
The chap pulled up in a very utilitarian box – Luton type van (diesel) (electrical tail-lift) and deftly reversed into a very cosy space outside our house and just nudging the merc back a few inches – I looked at it for a while but then decided it was much better where he had left it than where I had on my return from the shops earlier. In any case I couldn’t be bothered to change my vest just to engage in a remonstration. Anyway, he and his significant other then spent a hectic afternoon moving chattels from the van to the house whilst our two childs looked on from the safety of the window sill and reporting anything interesting looking to me reclining on the sofa. Evening came and with the van apparently empty, their front door was shut – low and behold a few minutes later the chap was out the back erecting his shed – well I have to admire his stamina and assignment of priorities. He even got the felt roof on in the rain – I waved a couple of times from the upstairs bedroom and raised my mug of tea in respect but he didn’t seem to notice me in my deckchair which I’d arranged next to the window so I could see how he put the shed together – nails not screws – he’ll learn. His other came out after a while in an anorak and held a pot of clout nails presumably so he didn’t have to keep getting down off the roof when he dropped his handful. I called from the window once or twice with witticisms to keep him from flagging but as I say, I don’t think he noticed. Still, we’ve got plenty of time to get acquainted – I need to get him to replace his fence as it is a bit lopsided now after I nailed the cable to my shed to it and the boys keep kicking the panels – bless them.
Kind regards
23 March 2005
23/3/2005
Fve,
Ba zl jnl vagb Ernqvat ba gur N4, V fnj n fvta cbvagvat gb “Pvgl Prager” – V pbhyqa’g jbex bhg juvpu jnf pybfrfg, Ybaqba be Bksbeq – va nal pnfr, gb juvpu Pvgl ner gur ebnq fvtaf ersreevat? Jul ba rnegu vf Ernqvat Pbhapvy jnfgvat zbarl ba fvtaf yvxr gung? Gurl znl nf jryy chg hc fvtaf cbvagvat gur jnl gb Jnyrf be Tbq sbeovq, Ovezvatunz sbe nyy gur hfr gurl ner.
Orfg Ertneqf
Qnivq
Ba zl jnl vagb Ernqvat ba gur N4, V fnj n fvta cbvagvat gb “Pvgl Prager” – V pbhyqa’g jbex bhg juvpu jnf pybfrfg, Ybaqba be Bksbeq – va nal pnfr, gb juvpu Pvgl ner gur ebnq fvtaf ersreevat? Jul ba rnegu vf Ernqvat Pbhapvy jnfgvat zbarl ba fvtaf yvxr gung? Gurl znl nf jryy chg hc fvtaf cbvagvat gur jnl gb Jnyrf be Tbq sbeovq, Ovezvatunz sbe nyy gur hfr gurl ner.
Orfg Ertneqf
Qnivq
12 March 2005
12/3/2005
Dear Dennis,
If I receive an invite to a party, however I cannot attend due to some prior arrangement. Am I entitled to request a ‘doggy-bag’ of the food and drink I would have consumed had I actually attended?
D
If I receive an invite to a party, however I cannot attend due to some prior arrangement. Am I entitled to request a ‘doggy-bag’ of the food and drink I would have consumed had I actually attended?
D
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