26/4/2005

Dear Dennis,
Sincere apologies – it appears my ‘tome of the other day’ could have been rejected by some yahoo type emailer service … never mind, I have reproduced it here as I wouldn’t wish you to miss anything I have to say :..

The brunette has informed me it is no longer ‘cool’ to tuck my t’shirt inside my trousers – when was this decision made? I didn’t notice any article in the ‘Shed Times’ regarding this matter.

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The involvement of Sappho is probably as good a guess as any and indeed to my prejudiced 1950’s & 60’s upbringing, seems to have elicited a string of brightly clothed visitors to next door with various and strangely coiffeured hair pieces and some with dogs pulled along on bits of rope. I saw the girls gaily chatting in their garden the other day and the one who was hammering nails into their shed roof (I shall call this one Bob) never seems to do any washing up so that proves it. And whilst ‘Bob’ was erecting some netting affaire to retain the rabbits, I bravely lent ‘him’ my cordless – ‘he’ was very appreciative and applied the correct grip straight away, whereas ‘Joan’ could only offer “I’ve never had much luck with those things”. The cordless was returned promptly the next day although the battery was flat. I quickly returned it to the dusty corner (back, left) in the shed to recover its patina (I think it had been polished) and shed-like odour. I notice Gary (next door the other side) has taken to wearing a long peaked cap whenever he has to go down to his shed – presumably he doesn’t wish to be noticed staring. Personally I’ve cleared a space in our Charlies bedroom, next to the window and I’ve cut a hole in his curtain just the size to fit my new binoculars – I can only report at this time that the rabbits seem to be functioning ‘normally’.

More some other time my friend
D