Dear Dennis,
I had a dream last night in which a mate (one I’ve not yet met) and I were running from a nuclear blast at the Uni and only just made it outside the blast zone by riding on radio controlled cars to a town some miles away. Finding our cars wouldn't carry us up some irate houseowners stairs we leapt off and hid in his under stairs cupboard (the door handle got hot but we survived). The brunette was miffed that she got vapourised in the first wave along with the kids and two of next doors budgies (I don't recall what happened to the rest). What does it mean mate?
29 September 2005
26 September 2005
26/9/2005
Dear Dennis,
I was this weekend, courtesy of the brunette, tasked with fitting an extractor fan to the bathroom and also with finishing the wiring to the new electric shower (some year and a bit after initially starting it). Even though I am struck down with a nasty cold type virus, I settled into my allotted tasks with enthusiasm and slightly pissed from a mixture of "Original Ginger Wine" and Bells Whiskey. I pulled down the ceiling I had earlier in the year, fitted so expertly and routed the fan ducting through to the outside of the flat roof and down into the cavity of the outside wall and then out again just below the guttering line. All works well and now the fan comes on just before any nasty niffs are emitted and turns itself off again just before the niff is totally expelled. I thought it odd that she insisted on a couple of dry runs "to get her aim in" - phew she whacks a hard stick when she wants to. In the dry run I had to pretend to touch the live wire and ( I thought) she would pretend to knock me off - well Dennis, for a while I thought I'd actually touched the live wire I was seeing so many stars. I thought I heard her speak (evidently she asked if I wanted to try again) and then I must have inadvertently nodded or something because she hit me again with such a whump. Of course Saul thought this great fun and ran off to get his plastic cricket bat and now keeps sneaking up on me and thwacking my head if I sit down for any length of time. Well the up-shot is that the shower works as does the extractor fan but I've had such a lump come up, my hat won't fit any more and I'm too shaky to actually stand in the shower and somehow sitting under it isn't so enjoyable as at any moment I might be walloped with a plastic cricket bat around the shower curtain but a giggling two and a half year old.
I was this weekend, courtesy of the brunette, tasked with fitting an extractor fan to the bathroom and also with finishing the wiring to the new electric shower (some year and a bit after initially starting it). Even though I am struck down with a nasty cold type virus, I settled into my allotted tasks with enthusiasm and slightly pissed from a mixture of "Original Ginger Wine" and Bells Whiskey. I pulled down the ceiling I had earlier in the year, fitted so expertly and routed the fan ducting through to the outside of the flat roof and down into the cavity of the outside wall and then out again just below the guttering line. All works well and now the fan comes on just before any nasty niffs are emitted and turns itself off again just before the niff is totally expelled. I thought it odd that she insisted on a couple of dry runs "to get her aim in" - phew she whacks a hard stick when she wants to. In the dry run I had to pretend to touch the live wire and ( I thought) she would pretend to knock me off - well Dennis, for a while I thought I'd actually touched the live wire I was seeing so many stars. I thought I heard her speak (evidently she asked if I wanted to try again) and then I must have inadvertently nodded or something because she hit me again with such a whump. Of course Saul thought this great fun and ran off to get his plastic cricket bat and now keeps sneaking up on me and thwacking my head if I sit down for any length of time. Well the up-shot is that the shower works as does the extractor fan but I've had such a lump come up, my hat won't fit any more and I'm too shaky to actually stand in the shower and somehow sitting under it isn't so enjoyable as at any moment I might be walloped with a plastic cricket bat around the shower curtain but a giggling two and a half year old.
15 September 2005
15/9/2005
Dear Dennis,
I must have missed your note about your third holiday this year - the last @mail I rmember from you was 1st August.
We trust you had a fine time and returned suitably relaxed and de-stressed. Thanks for speaking with Saul today on the telephone - I think it's important that he gets to know his "uncle" Dennis, don't you? You'll be needed to keep him grounded in this world and not fly off on tangents like his old dad. Although hopefully one day you'll explain the virtues of a good solid shed and cooking sherry.
I spent this past weekend at "Father and Son" cub camp in the rain and under canvas (all meals cooked on wood fires) Bacon and eggs every morning at 7:30, light lunch and then big cooked dinner every evening (not easy in the pelting rain) it was tiring but very enjoyable and we bonded whilst poking the fire with sharp sticks and with our fried chicken, peas and mash rapidly turning to soup in the rain.
Went to the Doc on Tuesday with my knee. He told me to do more exercise but then fell silent when I how I was supposed to exercise with my dodgy knee. As I got up to leave he told me helpfully that breakfast is the most important meal of the day and how he enjoyed curry for breakfast. I think he must have mistaken me for someone else and I smiled while closing his door quietly on my way out.
D.
I must have missed your note about your third holiday this year - the last @mail I rmember from you was 1st August.
We trust you had a fine time and returned suitably relaxed and de-stressed. Thanks for speaking with Saul today on the telephone - I think it's important that he gets to know his "uncle" Dennis, don't you? You'll be needed to keep him grounded in this world and not fly off on tangents like his old dad. Although hopefully one day you'll explain the virtues of a good solid shed and cooking sherry.
I spent this past weekend at "Father and Son" cub camp in the rain and under canvas (all meals cooked on wood fires) Bacon and eggs every morning at 7:30, light lunch and then big cooked dinner every evening (not easy in the pelting rain) it was tiring but very enjoyable and we bonded whilst poking the fire with sharp sticks and with our fried chicken, peas and mash rapidly turning to soup in the rain.
Went to the Doc on Tuesday with my knee. He told me to do more exercise but then fell silent when I how I was supposed to exercise with my dodgy knee. As I got up to leave he told me helpfully that breakfast is the most important meal of the day and how he enjoyed curry for breakfast. I think he must have mistaken me for someone else and I smiled while closing his door quietly on my way out.
D.
04 September 2005
4/09/2005
Dear Dennis,
Our dining room chairs have been successfully recovered whilst the brunette was watching Dalziel & Pascoe last evening and very comfy and smart they are too.
The bathroom had a bomb explode in it. I used an angle grinder to cut the channel for the electric (white 9.5Kw) shower cable yesterday and the dust has only just settled. The brunette will be taking the chilluns to rugby practice this morning and I shall be sneaking a bacon sandwich then soldering joints, drilling holes,wiring and changing light fittings and maybe the extractor fan right up until the Grand Prix starts - then I'll stop for a while - I usually wake up again shortly before the finish of the race - then I'll carry on with the bathroom.
Why is it that when the brunettes friends come around they all say "oh brunette, how awful, how can you live in this mess, what is he doing to your lovely house?" but when my friends come round they all say admiringly "cor you lucky bloke you've got lumber, what a great job, this'll look fantastic" and they ask for technical specifications of some of my handy work and specialised tooling. They even offer advice such as "have you fitted a non-return valve to that?" and "I connected mine to the PC via the serial port so it could automatically stop cold drips once the shower is turned off" and "dead technical ... used USB 2.8 over a very fast UAURT BiDi Centronics port with 2GHz Ethernet VGA wireless cloud mist" then we recline in my deckchairs supping home-made sherry and lying to each other about our DIY prowess and just how straight we can saw a plank of lumber and whether a tennon-saw, lump-hammer,rip-saw, hack-saw or pull-saw are the best for cutting dovetails.
I got really important stuff to do now so I'll catch you later.
D.
Our dining room chairs have been successfully recovered whilst the brunette was watching Dalziel & Pascoe last evening and very comfy and smart they are too.
The bathroom had a bomb explode in it. I used an angle grinder to cut the channel for the electric (white 9.5Kw) shower cable yesterday and the dust has only just settled. The brunette will be taking the chilluns to rugby practice this morning and I shall be sneaking a bacon sandwich then soldering joints, drilling holes,wiring and changing light fittings and maybe the extractor fan right up until the Grand Prix starts - then I'll stop for a while - I usually wake up again shortly before the finish of the race - then I'll carry on with the bathroom.
Why is it that when the brunettes friends come around they all say "oh brunette, how awful, how can you live in this mess, what is he doing to your lovely house?" but when my friends come round they all say admiringly "cor you lucky bloke you've got lumber, what a great job, this'll look fantastic" and they ask for technical specifications of some of my handy work and specialised tooling. They even offer advice such as "have you fitted a non-return valve to that?" and "I connected mine to the PC via the serial port so it could automatically stop cold drips once the shower is turned off" and "dead technical ... used USB 2.8 over a very fast UAURT BiDi Centronics port with 2GHz Ethernet VGA wireless cloud mist" then we recline in my deckchairs supping home-made sherry and lying to each other about our DIY prowess and just how straight we can saw a plank of lumber and whether a tennon-saw, lump-hammer,rip-saw, hack-saw or pull-saw are the best for cutting dovetails.
I got really important stuff to do now so I'll catch you later.
D.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)